Ripped By Bornholm
- Hey, captain. - Damn it, lamar. Don't stack these babies so close.
- Check that these racks ain't loose. - I'll worry about droppin' 'em from six feet. You worry about droppin' 'em from 20,000.
Get it worked out, fellas. What's this?
Come on, boys. Up and at 'em. Let's get to it.
Morning, captain. What's this?
Hey, captain, how are we gonna fly without jonathan?
Yeah, i thought you said he was gonna come and give us our lucky rub.
Well, that's funny. I was talking to the old man.
I said, "colonel, you can say a lot of things about my crew,
but you can't say they're superstitious." right?
Come on, boys. A little fire and vinegar. Let's move.
- Let's close it up back there. - Hey, watch it down there, will ya!
- get these babies out of the way. - Come on, will ya? Typical, isn't it?
- So what are they so glum about then? - Well, this lad, jonathan, he's their lucky piece.
- Oh, i see. - The captain's flown 22 missions with his lucky boy.
Now he's got to fly number 23 with a green belly gunner.
- That's rotten luck, isn't it? - It's terrible.
Boys don't wanna fly without jonathan. It was you who said he was our lucky rub.
I know what i said. Nobody flies 24 missions- and i mean nobody!
Hell, i wouldn't let him on that airplane if he had a round-trip ticket.
- Aw, come on, captain. - You stow it, static.
The 24th mission's voodoo. Everybody knows that.
I'd just as soon go up with a green gunner than a jinxed-
- morning, fellas. - Hey, johnny.
- Thanks. - Jonathan, how're you doing?
How're you doing there, buddy?
Supposed to be in your civvies, boy.
Civvies is okay for the soda fountain, but a little bit thin for berlin in january, wouldn't you say?
Jonathan, can i have a word with you?
A minute, fellas.
Captain.
You know, you don't have to do this.
We've been through 22 missions together, sir, and, well, hell, i'm your lucky charm.
You wouldn't go on a flight without insurance now, would you?
Must be your replacement.
Well, sir, what we have before us is a real dilemma.
You gonna fly your last mission with a green gunner... or the jinxed one?
- Let's move. Everybody. - Come on, captain.
In the plane. Sparky, come on.
- All right, team. - All right, jonathan.
- Bring us back home. - Yeah!
So how long till we get to call you dad?
About four months. But liz has never been on time for anything in her life,
so i'm not gonna hold my breath.
But, you know, we were thinking that, uh, since you never use your real name,
and if we have a boy, we'd like to give it yours.
You really wanna call your son arnold?
Arnold?
Yeah. You takin' her stateside?
Of course. She's a citizen now.
- Hey, i meant to ask you, did you get accepted? - Sure did.
University of minnesota engineering department. G.i. Bill.
Congratulations.
- You know, we're gonna have to keep in touch, buddy. - You bet.
Pilot to crew. Take your stations.
Yep. We're gonna buy the farm on this trip, dave. I can feel it.
I can smell it. It's like some bad taste inside my mouth.
You know when i start to worry? The one time you don't tell me that.
- Hey, can i see? - It's not for you, worrier. Trust me.
Here you go, lamar.
Ain't that the truth. You said it, brother.
Merry christmas, captain.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
Take squadron to new course 02l3. Winds 070 out of 2l35.
So what you doin'after today?
Suppose i'll be instructing d.r. Navigation to a bunch of gung-ho rowdies same as we used to be.
You seen these?
I don't think we were supposed to find these.
You know jonathan's always fixin' to surprise us with one thing or another.
There's the captain and jake.
Look at that. Look at scrappy.
You know, we've been lucky.
Swallow it. Twenty-three outings, 23 homecomings.
Lxnay. You're gonna jinx the last round-trip.
- You know what these are? - What?
Lieutenant's bars.
If we gotta bail, put 'em on your collar and say in german-
There's you, farm boy, on your cow.
- There's sam and dave. - Yeah, but which is which?
That's dave 'cause he's got the lucky rabbits.
There's sam 'cause he's always got the girl. These are good.
Yeah, these are good. Look who that is.
- That's you, ol' buddy. Take a good look at yourself. - Yeah, he's got a real good sense of humor.
"I am an american officer.
"Do not put me in with the enlisted men.
I expect to be treated as an officer under the rules of the geneva convention."
Say, you're pretty good.
See this?
Read some more of this. Don't speak to me until we land.
Why can't i do that?
Because jonathan's got the old imagination.
Say, i got six m.e. 109s. What's that make me?
A war hero, chum. After the war, that and a nickel gets you a cup of coffee.
But jonathan here, he's got the old imagination.
That and a penny and we'll all be working for him someday.
Say, i got imagination.
That, plus six confirmed kills-
- are gonna win me a date with- - betty grable.
You know something, sam? Maybe i was wrong about you.
You got a real good imagination.
Bandits, 10:00! Bandits, 1 2:00- coming out of the sun!
Battle positions!
- I got more at 3:00! - Fighters approaching 10:00 low.
Enemy approaching 12:00 high.
- I got 'em, i got 'em, i got 'em. - Coming to your side!
You can nail 'em going away.
Coming down to you, jonathan!
I see four. Bandits at 9:00!
Number-one outboard smoking! Bail out!
No!
Leapin' lizards, what was that?
What the hell was that?
We lost two.
Salvo 'em, bullseye.
- What the hell hit us? - I don't know.
All right, i want battle damage and casualty reports from all crew stations on the double.
Bombardier okay.
Radio operator okay.
Engineer okay, sir.
Right gunner okay. What the hell is that? Left gunner okay.
Captain, something's punched through here.
I don't know what it is yet, but it's right above jonathan's head.
Captain to belly gunner, report.
Come on, jonathan. Over. Captain to belly-gunner, report.
Jonathan, what the hell's going on down there? Over.
Captain, uh, must've been the concussion.
Say, that lousy kraut mosquito gave me a bloody nose,
but i think i nailed him.
Yeah, well, you swatted him good, kid.
- Get yourself topside. Let one of the boys take a look at you. - All right, cap.
Cap, i seem to be having some trouble getting the hatch open.
Jonathan's having trouble with his hatch. Somebody give him a hand.
- Let's take her home, jake. - Aye, aye, captain.
Cap, can't rotate the azimuth of the turret.
Can't expose the hatch.
So, in plain english, "help."
Come on. Let's get him out of here. Come on out. Come on.
- Shoot, that's hot. - All right, let's go.
We're gonna turn this thing to the right, all right?
Ready? On three. Ready? One, two, three.
Come on!
Try it again. Come on. Ready? Come on. One more time.
Let's go. Give it a nice kick this time. Ready? One, two, three.
Go. Come on! Come on!
Hey, uh, did i ever tell you fellas...
that i have this fear about small places?
- Come on, static. You wanna switch with me? Come on. - No, thank you.
Hey, uh, static,
i just want you to know that this thing is soldered, welded shut, okay?
We're not gonna get him out of here without a blowtorch.
- Hey, anybody confirm that one? - It's mine.
You clobbered him real good, buddy. You sent half of him back to creation.
The only problem is, you got the other half on top of you like a dead bull.
- Oh. - Now, kid, can you hear me?
- Yeah. Good. 'cause you're gonna be stuck inside mama's belly...
till we can land this thing and blowtorch you outta there, okay?
All right, lamar. I don't think i'm gonna bleed to death, so don't you fellas worry about me.
I'll be fine. All right, static.
Hate that song. Just hate it.
Okay, static. Let's have the good news.
Okay, cap'n. You burnt seventeen hundred gallons en route to primary target.
We lost another hundred gallons when number-four outboard disintegrated.
Now, we can make it back to coventry if the winds are kind.
But i gotta believe the underside of this baby's fairly torn to pieces.
Yeah, she's flying heavy to the right. You can feel it.
Cap'n, have you tried lowering the landing gear yet?
No indication showing, sir.
Negative.
Say, how does it feel to be the biggest sardine in the can?
Oh, i don't know. Come on. Tell me.
- You really wanna know? - Yeah.
Okay.
God, that's so silly.
- Say, bullseye? - Yes, sir.
Take a look and tell me if you can see any one of our wheels in the down-and-lock position. Over.
Negative. Negative, captain, sir.
It looks like a rubbish pile under both wings.
Looks like you're gonna get to toboggan us in, sir.
Well, i never landed two wheels up before.
- But we'll be bone-dry by then, right? - Yes, sir.
Only thing on fire will be this cigar.
Yes, sir.
- Captain, we got a problem. - Huh?
- I don't know how to tell you. - Well, speak up, sergeant.
It's jonathan, sir. He's trapped in the belly turret. I don't think we can get him out.
We're goin' belly down with 30 tons of airplane on a concrete runway.
Well, i don't think 1,100 pounds of plexi and aluminum are going to hold him up, do you?
- No, sir. - Well, let's get 'im out.
- Give me a hand, lamar. - It's fused shut, sir.
- I know. Give me a hand. - We already tried.
I heard you the first time. Now let's do it again.
- Did you try that way? - Yes, captain.
All right.
Oh, my god. He knows.
Of course he knows.
He's got the best view in the ballpark down there.
Howya doing in there, kid?
I'm a little scared, captain, but, uh,
i knowyou're not gonna let anything happen to me, because i'm your lucky charm, right?
You are.
Jonathan, we're in a bit of a pickle, okay?
- Guess you know that already. - I'm not gonna die in here.
No, sir. I'm not gonna do that. No, sir. I got too much to live for.
- Jonathan, listen to me. - Just rub my head for good luck, and you'll think of something.
Sure, kid.
I'll think of something.
I knew i could count on you, sir.
Let's think of something.
Goddamn it.
Cap? Captain.
Cap?
Captain, help me.
Look out.
Hey, captain, we tried that already.
Careful, captain.
Captain, come on.
- That's hot, captain! - Watch! It's hot!
He's burned. Grab his hand! Grab his hand!
I got it! Captain burned his hands.
Come on now. Easy, captain, easy.
Stay with us. Come on, captain. We need you.
We're losing number-three outboard, sir.
Captain, i got tower on the horn.
Told 'em we're coming in wheels up in approximately 12 minutes.
Approximately 12 minutes, captain.
Should i feather it?
Nurse it, jake. We gotta keep this thing in the air another 12 minutes.
Any new cartoons from jonathan, captain?
He's out, isn't he?
Captain.
- Crack the cow flaps on number two. - Cow flaps cracked.
- Close fuel shutoff valve. - Fuel shutoff closed.
- Set number-two fire extinguisher. - It's set, captain.
Release co2.
It's like this, sir. We've been racking our brains trying to figure something out.
We had a couple of crazy ideas, captain.
Like hanging one of the 50 calibers from a rope, see. Then lowering it out the left waist door.
And then you could angle the nose down like this, right?
Maybe that rope will drift by jonathan's plexi.
He could kick through, grab on to the rope and then we could just reel him in.
- Reel him in. - We're down to fifteen-hundred horsepower, boys.
We got all but two engines left.
Hear what i'm saying. This airplane's built to do a lot of tricks,
but, on crutches, we can't be some flying circus.
If we had more time, we'd get some- maybe we can angle back-
all right, just knock it off!
- What's minimum altitude for bailout? - Fifteen-hundred feet, captain.
It's been done from twelve hundred.
- Give me my chute. - Captain, we thought about that.
- The chute doesn't fit through the- - not like this it won't.
- Take the silk out of the pack. Roll it as tight as you can. - Right.
- What are we at, jake? - Twenty-seven hundred, captain.
We can do this! Come on.
- We can do this.
Move. Move.
We're coming. We're gonna get you out, jonathan.
- I got it. I got it. I got it. - Use mine.
- Why? - Get the lead out. Come on now.
Come on. Let's go. It's the lucky chute.
- You'll be all right. Don't worry,johnny. - All right. All right. Let's go.
- Let's go. - Let's move it!
Jonathan, i thought of something.
Great. I knewyou'd think of something.
Now, soon as you get that chute, i want you to kick out the plexi.
Hold that baby tight to your chest and jump away from the prop wash. You hear? Jump away.
'Cause it looks really bad to come in with a bloody tail.
2,000 feet.
Come on. Let's have it. Let's have it. Come on! Okay, here.
Okay, kid. Here we go. Easy. Come on. Come on. Let's go.
- Relax, buddy. - Now, hey, hey. Slow it down, kid. Take it easy.
Where we at, jake? Where we at?
- Eighteen hundred. - Call out some altitude.
- Eighteen hundred! - That's better!
- Come on. You gotta be faster. - Relax, jonathan.
Eighteen-hundred feet. Put the spurs to it, buddy.
- Pop slow, kid. All right. We got only one shot at this. - All right. All right.
Listen, i don't know how long it's gonna take me to break through this plexi.
I-i think i'm gonna kick through it right now.
- No! No! - Seventeen hundred.
Can't he hold this flight level a couple of more seconds?
He hasn't got enough fuel to do anything but descend to the inbound marker and glide us in the rest of the way.
- Jonathan, pull. Come on! - Okay. Okay.
- Come on. Would you feed me that thing? - Come on.
- Just take it easy. Take it slow. - Give it to me.
- Thirteen-hundred feet, captain. Come on, boys. Come on.
Thirteen-hundred feet. Let's go. Come on. Feed it to me.
Feed it to me. Feed it to me. Feed it to me. Feed it to me.
- Approaching minimum bailout altitude, sir. - Come on.
- Come on. What's the holdup back there? - Get in the harness.
- Can you hold the flight level? - Let's go!
Oh, god. It ripped.
Captain. Captain, that chute ripped. I'm sorry. It's my fault.
- Get 'im another chute. - I ripped the chute. Oh, no.
We're too low to try again, captain. More climb throttle?
Negative. We're too low on fuel.
What's the flight level now?
Hey, guys. If that was the lucky one, i'll take the unlucky one. Beggars can't be choosers.
Oh, my god.
Just another hundred feet, captain. Maintain that for a couple more minutes.
Give jonathan a second chance.
You know the math. What's the pilotage point just before the field?
- The forest. - Can't land there, can we?
Come on, lamar. Where's that second chute?
Wind 270 at 10 miles per hour.
- Altimeter setting, two-niner, - niner-two.
- Whose plane is it? - Captain spark.
But he's coming in without wheels.
- Shouldn't be a problem for sparky. - He's good people.
Yeah. But the belly gunner's trapped inside the turret.
- Is he alive, sir? - He is.
- I'll wager that crew wishes he wasn't. - Medical equipment standing by.
Oh, lord. There she is.
- Who? - His wife.
Manchester woods.
Then fields of knightsbridge and lake edward.
Then two hills, three meadows and the intermarker and then-
sir, belly gunner to pilot.
- Sir, do you read me? - Uh, any ideas yet?
I can see manchester woods. We should be pretty close to home by now.
Air to west three. Start at least a half turn as soon as feasible.
- Roger, tower. - Set altimeter two-niner, niner-two.
Two-niner, niner-two. Check.
- Booster pumps. - On.
- Intercoolers. Aren't you gonna answer him, captain?
What the hell do you want me to say to him?
Thanks for the insurance, kid. We're all gonna make it, but your policy's up?
- Well, maybe we could circle around- - jake, help me land this airplane.
- But it's our belly gunner in there- - help me land this airplane, please.
- But it's jonathan, sir. - I know who it is.
We're almost out of fuel. I couldn't circle this field now even if i had an idea.
Intercoolers.
- Intercoolers cold. - Cow flaps.
Cow flaps opened and locked.
Mixture autorich.
I had a good life before the war and all during it too.
I- i got to see europe from the air. I met my wife.
I got through 22 missions without a scratch, so don't you fellas worry about me.
After i rotate outta here, i'm gonna be-
i'm gonna be a cartoonist for walt disney studios.
So don't you fellas worry about me. I'm gonna get through this one.
We all are.
Hell, i'm not supposed to die this way.
Jonathan, i'm father mckay.
Is there anything i can do for you, son?
I'm not gonna die, father.
There's other people worse off that could use your prayers anyway.
My number's not up. I don't know how i know this, but i know somehow.
Captain's gonna think of something before it's too late.
This one's for you, kid.
Lamar. Lamar
Oh, buddy.
Bullseye. Bullseye.
Sam. Sam.
Sam.
Dave.
Static.
Static, i want you to take liz, and i want you to take her to america, okay?
'Cause i want my baby born in california.
Come on, static. Come on. Come on.
I want everyone to assume their crash positions.
When we go down on the ground, i'll ring the alarm,
and everyone get the hell out of this bird and get as far away as you can.
It ain't gonna be quick, you know.
Hey, stow it. Well, shouldn't one of us-
what's he talking about? I mean, if it was me, i'd want you to, bullseye.
You're crazy. Are you crazy?
Don't even think about it.
Don't think about it.
If it was me, i'd want you to, bullseye.
Carburetor filters.
Filters on.
- Hydraulic pressure. - 700 pounds.
- Turbos. - Turbos set, captain. Steady on course.
I saw new heavens and a new earth.
The former heavens and the former earth had passed away.
And the sea was no longer.
I also saw a new jerusalem coming down out of heaven from god.
Beautiful as a bride prepared to meet her husband.
And he who sat upon the throne said,
'behold, i make all things new. "
- Lowblowers. - Lowblowers set. Steady on course, captain.
I heard a loud voice from the throne ring out.
'This is god's dwelling among men.
He shall dwell with them, and they shall be his people. "
Gotta-gotta-gotta-gotta-gotta-gotta- gotta make it.
I gotta make it.
Wing flaps, one-third. One-third.
More r.p.m.'s.
- Twenty-two hundred, captain. - Bump it again.
Oh, lord, he's gonna do it. He's really gonna do it.
He shall wash every tear from their eyes.
Lord, have mercy on me. Lord, forgive us our sins and bring us to everlasting life. Amen.
500 feet. Four-fifty.
- Lifting the nose. - Wing flaps fully extended?
- Full flaps. Number-three oil temp up in the red- - high r.p.m.'s. High r.p.m.'s.
Airfield's in sight, sir.
- I see the runway, captain. - I see it.
Good. Good.
Down and locked. Down and locked. Down and locked. Down and locked.
Down and locked. Down and locked.
Captain, try it again.
Captain, jonathan wants you to try it again.
- What? - Jonathan.
The landing gear, sir. Try that landing gear one more time for me.
Try it again, sir.
Bless me, father, for i have sinned.
For the former world has passed away.
I can't do it. I-i can't do it.
Some of the landing gear is coming down. The landing gear is coming down.
We got wheels. We got wheels!
- We did it!
Captain, sir, i think i'm seeing things.
The landing gear is down, but i still think i'm seeing things...
- because it's- - thank god! It's a miracle!
That's the word i was looking for.
Let's find johnny. Hey, jonathan.
Holy mary, look at that. Look at that!
We're ho- home.
What is it? Port wheel.
I need my man cut out of there on the double.
Touch it. You touch it.
- I must be in heaven. I'm dead and dreaming, captain- - shh! No. Shh-shh!
I don't want him jostled one inch.
Okay, we got it. No. Watch out. Watch out.
Okay. I got him. I got him. Jonathan, i got you.
Watch his head. Watch his head. I got him.
Here we go. Back up. Back up.
I got him. Jonathan, you're home.
Jonathan!
Jonathan, can you hear me? Come on.
- Can you hear me? Wake up, kid. Come on. Snap out of it.
Snap out of it, boy.
What happened? Did we make it?
How in god's name did he do that? How'd he do it?
Some guys got all the luck.